Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize