hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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