Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
they need to just BURY HIM!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
