Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
