I am in a vortex of obligation.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
nutella sex= disaster
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
