Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
