i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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