Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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