That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
