thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize