We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
