Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
