I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
