I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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