I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
