I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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