Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
