I just made out with a guy for $7.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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