The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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