I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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