i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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