she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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