The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
