mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
farters have to be the big spoon...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
