You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
