Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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