and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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