If i come over, it means nothing
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize