So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
