She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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