Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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