I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
