so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
