Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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