broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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