Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
