we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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