dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
