ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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