I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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