Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize