also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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