I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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