had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
