I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
