Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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