I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
