Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
