enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
being pregnant is like rehab
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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