i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
send nudes
from the living room?
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