it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
