letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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