She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
