Please, let me fuck your mom
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
