how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
