I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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