I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
