She's JV to your varsity
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
