i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
