if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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