We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
