A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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