marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
