why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
