have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
