Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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