He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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