THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize