i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize