it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
