she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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