i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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