Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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