$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
